Why is that? For me, it's a struggle of the ‘cans & wills’. I know that God can do anything. I know that He is all powerful, all seeing, and all knowing. I know that He can do anything but fail, but…..will He do this? I know all of the church phrases about how great & powerful & capable He is. He is God, & beside Him there is none other....and sometimes, that's my problem, because if He decides to just....not....I'm screwed. If He decides to go with a plan higher than mine, my plan is in shambles, and I don’t know what’s next (I hate not knowing what’s next). I know He's powerful and capable, but I also know He's sovereign, so He does what He wants when He wants (I won't even touch the timing issue). I know that He can (and I appreciate that capability), but…will He?
I recently brought my trust issues to God (because the book hurt my feelings), and addressed the fact that I'm only like this because I dared to read His word (yeah…I tried it). He followed up with an interesting point: the same word that says that He's sovereign says that He won't withhold any good thing from me. So if I don't get what I (thought I) wanted, it must not have been good for me (He then followed with a few personal examples that we don't need to discuss lol). The same word that says that He's sovereign says that He's faithful, and that He'll never leave me. The same word that says He’s sovereign says that He’s my shepherd, my provider, and my reason to not fear…anything. The same sovereignty that (lowkey) scares me played a part in Him sending His Son to come and DIE, allowing me to even have this foolish conversation. So regardless of what happens, I'm in His hands & ensured victory, because all things work for my good, & if God be for me (which He is), who can be against me? *cue crickets*
It doesn’t make sense to say that we trust God, and not follow through. That doesn’t count for anything, and trust me, He’ll test your talk. If you’re going to trust Him, trust Him completely. He may be sovereign, but His word is sure. So if He said it, you have every reason to believe it. His sovereignty won’t work against Him, and His word won’t return to Him void. At the very least, He’s promised you victory. It may not look like the picture perfect image you have in our head, but it’ll be for your good. His ways may be higher than yours, and they will likely feel like they’re out of your reach, but they’re never out of the (endless) bounds of His power. Trust His hand, trust HIs heart, and watch your trust turn into a testimony.
I’ll finish with this: earlier this week, something hit the windshield on my car…and I jumped. Now, keep in mind that in the 8 years that I’ve had my car, my windshield has never failed me. Nothing has ever flown up, hit my windshield, and gotten through to hurt me. At most, a rock hit my windshield, and I have a small crack (that was repaired that day). When viewed objectively, I have no reason to even worry about anything, especially something that small, getting close enough to hurt me…and our relationship with God is the same way. He may not have done everything the way that you wanted Him to (or by your not so perfect deadline); let’s put all of that to the side, & look at the facts. We have no reason to not trust God. In the grand scheme of things, He’s never failed us. Now, I’m not saying that life has been easy & pain free. I’ve been hurt…and I’ve been healed. I’ve been broke…and I’ve always seen Him provide. I’ve been lonely…and I’ve felt Him be my friend. Through every valley, and every challenge, He’s been there - more than anybody else I know. I may have a sealed crack or 2, but 1 or 2 healed wounds aren’t much compared to what could’ve (and should’ve) hit me if He wasn’t there.
Background music: Do You Know Him - Hezekiah Walker