It’s always so interesting (and slightly weird) when people ask me about my law school experience, because I feel that my journey has been so…..exceptional. Not exceptional in an arrogant or ‘you can’t follow in my footsteps because I’m so amazing’ way, but because I felt so…behind. I didn’t have my books for the first few days (which equated to weeks in law school time, because cases are harder to read/comprehend than you think they are). I had no idea what was happening or what the timeline was for the first….half (or so) of the semester (I’d barely understood what was happening in class). I’m black (1/3 in my section). I’m relatively quiet (this whole ‘peopleing’…thing that you social people do takes work lol). I knew 1 attorney (that I didn’t really want to bother). I’m a family person (what good is it being in the same city with a family I don’t see?!). So, I had to fight a few battles that my classmates didn’t. The thing that always got me (and upset me) was the fact that I never asked for this. I never asked for the system (or my life) to be set up like this! If I’d had my books early, if I knew what was going on or what was ahead, if I…..didn’t have everything happening at once….I….wouldn’t have the testimony that I do now….huh?
“Therefore we also, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us lay aside every weight, and the sin which so easily ensnares us, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us” - (Hebrews 12:1 NKJV)
One thing that I recently realized about Heb.12:1 is the fact that it never says that we chose the race; it simply says that we have to run with endurance. The race itself has been set before us (your preference not included). It’s been placed in front of you….and you’re too busy being upset about the fact that you didn’t get to choose a battle that you could win on your own that you’re afraid to run. You’ve got an opportunity to do greater things in front of you, and instead of trusting God to do those greater things through you, you’re producing a 3,846 page report of why you shouldn’t, can’t, or simply don’t want to do this. We get so caught up in the things that we can’t pick (“I’m [insert race here]”, “I’m a woman”, “I’m broke”, “I’m sick”, I’m this, I’m that)….that we never stop to do as deep of an analysis of why we’re equipped for this.
I think part of our issue lies in the fact that we get so caught up in the fact that we did not expressly choose the race, or the trials, that we have to face that we allow it to convince us that because we didn’t choose it, we can’t win. That’s a lie. More specifically, it produces weights; weights that should be laid aside (that’s step 1, by the way). I’ve learned that sins & weights are 2 different things. Excuses aren’t necessarily sins; they’re weights. Procrastination is a weight. Laziness is a weight. Fear is a weight. Anything that holds you back from your destiny can be a weight…and all weights need to be set aside (I like to think it makes room for the victory).
We are more acquainted with our setbacks, our weights, & our excuses than we are with our God & our guaranteed victory with Him. How do I know? It’s the first thing that comes out of your mouth. God will set a race before you, a race He’s literally created you to win, and you respond with ‘yeah….but I can’t ______ like the rest of them’, ‘people that do that stuff need to be able to _____; I don’t _____ very well’ Don’t feel bad. You aren’t alone. People in the Bible rehearsed their weights all of the time. Running from responsibility is something that we all have in common. For example, God called Moses to go deliver the children of Israel. What did Moses respond with? “….but I can’t talk, they may not like me, the Egyptians speak really well……you should pick somebody else’. Aaron gets caught when Moses returned from the mount & found the children of Israel acting a complete fool. First thing out of his mouth? “….ummmm…they asked for a symbol! They…they gave me this gold, & a calf appeared! Imagine that!’ The man at the pool of bethesda did the same thing! Jesus asked him if he wanted to be whole. First thing out of his mouth? ‘nobody offers to take me to the pool, they always beat me there’. My personal favorite? Adam. God asks him why HE ate from the tree, and Adam becomes the world’s first snitch: “That woman you made gave it to me!” Everybody has a weight (or a few), suga. The trick isn’t always persevering despite the weight; sometimes, it’s laying it aside.
I’ve had my own experience with weights as well. I’ve learned that your history can be a weight. If you’re not careful, it can limit your opinion of yourself. My first semester of law school was a scruggle (no, not a struggle, SCRUGGLE, that C substitution is necessary). So I started my second semester running from my past instead of running to my future (there is a difference…hint: it’s in what you focus on). One day, God told me it was time to change my story. He showed me that the story I’d told myself was part of my problem. I went into it defeated. So, He gave me a new one: “it’s time to recover”. Well, sweet suga of the Most High, to make the longest of stories short, I changed my story, and what I spoke became what I saw. I’ve done what I internally deemed impossible….my second semester of law school. I’m telling you this because maybe, just maybe, it’s time for you to change your story too.
If you didn’t pick this race, He allowed it. If He allowed it, He knows something that you apparently don’t: you can do this. So drop your excuses. Drop the fear. Drop the weights….and run. Lay aside the weight, change your story/confession, and run. My pastor would put it like this: you’ll win…if you don’t quit.
Background Music: My Life is in your Hands - God's Property
Words from the Author
At the end of the day, these posts are the thoughts that run through my mind. These are the lessons I've learned. The doors that I've walked through. The path I've chosen. This is part of what it means to be me. Hopefully, it'll help you be...you. Let's grow together, kay?
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