I’ve been in law school for four weeks now (please, hold your applause lol), and if I haven’t learned anything else, I’ve learned that NOTHING draws out insecurities like law school. Everybody feels like the rest of the class knows something they don’t. Everybody feels like they’ve missed something. In one way or another, everybody’s lost (which is terrible when you’re used to being the one that knows everything). Everybody is confused, and just trying to figure out how to survive and get to the other side. While it may appear that everybody knows exactly what the professor is talking about, or how to do….everything you can’t, that’s not the truth. While it seems like God has, for whatever reason, prepared everybody else for this and left you to figure it out on your own, He hasn’t. I had to learn all of this very quickly, because if I hadn’t I would’ve given up the very thing God gave me: the ability to run my own race.
The hilarious thing about law school is the fact that everybody gives you advice...that doesn't really help you at all. While they may be trying to help you, they can only really tell you what worked for them. And as we all probably know, what works for them may not work at all for you. So what do you do in a world where you don't know anything...and the advice doesn't work....and you're doing something without a reference of how things should go? You run your own race.
Now, I could take the easy church route & tell you that the race isn't given to the swift nor the strong, but to the one that ensures until the end. I could pat you on your back, tell you that God's got you, & be done with the blog post for the week. And while all of that is true, it's become what I call "church talk", & this is Church Decoded, right, so I'm going to give you the real. Running my own race has been one of THE hardest things to do in my life, because there are random moments when I realize that I'm basically running alone. Yeah, I have my mom (hey Mama! Lol), I have friends, and a family that I know loves me...but none of them are going through all that I'm going through in this moment (and even if they were, it'd be what worked for them v. what works for me). So it’s through this struggle that I’ve realized that the race is more than having speed, strength or endurance. It’s about dependence.
Running your own race requires you to depend on God. That’s why He’s placed you in this new season. That’s why you don’t have anything else to look towards. I remember having a complaining session that I called a prayer, and telling God that I felt so bad because I didn’t have a reference point. Immediately, He told me that I didn’t need one. Why look for somebody who’s taken the path before when I know The One who created the path? If you’re going to survive this journey, you have to depend on God for every step. The source of your fear is the number one reason as to why you can’t do this on your own & you can’t view this as something you have to take on by yourself. There is an option that you will fail on your own, but if God has led you here, He won’t let you leave without the victory.
The tough thing about running your own race (and depending on God in general) is that you have to trust a God that you can’t physically see. If I can see somebody that’s leading me somewhere, I have a higher level of comfort simply because they’re right in front of me. I can see that they haven’t left me. I can watch how they’ve handled it. I have proof that others have made it through right in front of me. But following God? It’s a bit harder. Let’s be honest, I am not going to open my door & see God standing there patiently waiting to walk me to my car & lead me anywhere. God is not physically walking in front of me on my way to class. Now, do I believe that God is everywhere? Yep. Do I know that He’s with me and for me? You better believe it, boo. But that doesnt mean that following Him into new territory is the easiest thing to do. How do you follow a God that you can’t see to get you through something you’ve never done before? You check His record…
Whether you recognize it or not, God already has a resume concerning your life. He’s already done things and moved on your behalf enough to “earn” your trust in this situation. I’m not talking about the fact that He woke you up this morning & started you on your way. For some people, the fact that you're still alive, when deep down inside you wanted to die is a point on His resume. For others, the fact that you made it through school or the fact that your children are fine is a point on His resume. The fact that you are where you are on your job, in your organization, and/or in your life is a point on His resume. His record has shown His ability to keep you in new places because He created those new places. He's the pro of new places. It's not a question of if He's able, it's a question of if you'll choose to trust Him. You need to step into the new area to get to your destiny & to get all that God has for you, and in order to get through the new arena, you need to trust Him.
To trust God is to trust His decisions. He placed you here. Yes, He knows you don't fit in. Yes, He knows that you are not whoever people may (or will) be comparing you to. Yes, He knows that you don't think you're qualified, but honestly, that doesn't matter because He knows you're qualified. He knows what you did. He knows your insecurities. He knows that you don't know what you're doing. He knows where you've been. He's knows you're not used to this. He knows, He knows...He knows. And with all of that knowledge, He chose you to do this anyway. So if you're going to trust God, you've got to trust that He chose you for this, and if He chose you for this, He won't let you fail. Regardless of whether you're alone, scared, confident, or surrounded with support, He won't let you fail. When God puts you in a position, He puts His name on the line, and God won't let His name or His word get tarnished. He's been perfect all of this time, and He surely won't make a mistake now. He's chosen you for this journey, and since He chose you, He's already equipped you to run the race He has for you.
Now, before I get off of your screen, I want you to recognize one final thing about running your own race. Running your own race is easier once you realize that it's yours and yours alone. You may not fit in with others. You may not be able to go out with everybody. You may not be able to date or give yourself to everybody for the simple sake of your own race. Everybody can't go with you because everybody's got their own journey. Don't try to force anybody to handle this journey with you. It'll only add to the burden you're trying to relieve. You won't be able to go everywhere with everybody because their journey may be different from yours. Whatever you do, run your race, not the race of others, k?...k. Team break! haha
Sorry this was so late, and have an AMAZING weekend!
Background Music: Worth - Anthony Brown & Group TherAPy (simply because He thought you were worth it all) AND Walk on Water - Mali Music
Words from the Author
At the end of the day, these posts are the thoughts that run through my mind. These are the lessons I've learned. The doors that I've walked through. The path I've chosen. This is part of what it means to be me. Hopefully, it'll help you be...you. Let's grow together, kay?
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